now the dummy musicians of the year.

This is an open letter to some musicians/bands that let me down this year.

Weezer- The Red Album - wow. what a piece of crap. You know what I liked you more when you only had made two albums and then you decided to have a mental breakdown and smoke alot of weed. Since you came back all you have done is make crappy albums. Okay, your right, the "Green Album" wasn't terrible, but it was crappy in comparison to the "Blue Album" and "Pinkerton". Face it, your best albums are behind you, please hang up your spurs and stop making music before I hate you as much as I hate Nickelback.

My Morning Jacket - Evil Urges - Another disappointment, though this one wasn't a really a bad album. It was just not what I want from you. I understand the desire to experiment, however, this album made you sound like you asked Pharrell for help. Don't. Just keep on with the good old southern style rock you do great before you get passed up by talented bands like Band Of Horses, Fleet Foxes, and Blitzen Trapper. Please your better than the last effort.

Oasis - Dig Out Your Soul - Now I realized I am the only person on this side of the pond who gives a damn but still I listen anyway. I keep listening to Oasis can still make a good pop song as well as anyone, though on this last album I started to doubt them alittle. Really not a single memorable song on this one. Just disappointing from one of the best britpop bands ever. These guys wrote WONDERWALL. They have moments of brilliance yet this was nothing special. Thanks guys.

Black Rebel Motorcycle Club - The Effects of 333 - I understand that this album was made over 4 years in a bus/motel rooms and you guys lost your drummer... again. However, you guys need to stop being such bottom bitches. A CD of AMBIENT MUSIC?!?! What were you clowns thinking. I even like ambient/instrumental albums but you failed to even make a good one. You said that you had been working on this project for years? When? I even paid good money for this. You guys broke my heart. Last year you were my number 2 album of the year with Baby 88, now your the biggest disappointment of '08. You guys almost made me shed a tear.

Yikes

If Hitler was this mad last year...

The Best Albums of 2008

Allright I've been talking about it for weeks now and I will deliver THE GREATEST ALBUMS OF 2008. That's right download these to if you like good music folks. Whereas some year-end music reviews will include Randy Newman's new stuff his will not (though I have always enjoyed "I love L.A." I can't say the same about the actual town. I think I will reserve that for another list. A list of towns that doesn't give the songs about them justice.) Anyways heres the list:

10. Nine Inch Nails - Ghosts/The Slip - Wow, 2 great albums in one year and one of them was free. A great traditional Album along with an even better Instrumental album. Ghosts may be the best thing that Reznor has put together since the Fragile. Truly a duo that can be described as beauty and the beast.

9. Al Green - Lay it Down - It's about time that Brother Al realized that he didn't need to make a contemporary album. News flash Al your not Usher. As long as he goes this route I am down with Brother Al.

8. Black Mountain - In The Future - Canadian prog rockers decide to fly the freak flag. Awesome. If you like your rock with a psychedelic aspect to it get this album. Huge Drums and great guitars really raised my eyebrows on this album.

7. Clinic - Do it - Rad music from across the pond, for fans of Franz Ferdinand and other new wave-ish bands. I was tremendously surprised to hear it sound this good. I had listened to it for about 3 weeks straight right after it came out. Truly one of the surprises of the year for me.

6. Black Angels - Directions to See a Ghost - UNBELIEVEABLE. The Best psychedelic album of the year, this album was so great it inspired me to go out and get everything else this band did. Please check them out if you like psycheledic rock written by the most paranoid stoners I have ever heard. Songs about vikings are also common as well as a 16 minute jam that will blow your mind all over your face. Simply just a strong album by a great band.

5. Beck - Modern Guilt - Dangermouse and my favorite Scientologist make the funkiest album about the end of the world. If your a fan of the pop music of the sixties Dangermouse puts together some of the best beats anybody has crafted in a while. This was another album I listened to for about 2 months straight. I listened to it to the point that it screwed up my top 25 list on itunes, I am just now getting everything else caught up with this album. Luckily though if this is the music of the end of the world sign me up.

4. She & Him - volume one - Actress Zooey Deschanel and local boy M. Ward make the best Alt. Country Album of the year. Can we go back in time and replace Reese Witherspoon in Walk the Line. Seriously this girl has the singing chops. I don't care if she never makes another movie again just keep making music.

3. Sigur Ros - Með suð í eyrum við spilum endalaust - I may be a sigur ros fanboy but I thought this album was beautifully constructed. From top to bottom I can't think of a miss on this thing. I never would have thought that Sigur ros would have made such an easily accesible album for people since the music they make is typically so introverted. However this is a truly happy album with great songs. If you have never heard Sigur Ros you should definitely start with this album.

2 Santogold - Santogold/Top Ranking - I don't care if people are saying that she is just an M.I.A. clone, she's amazing and I would disagree with the statement. She has expanded herself sonically far more than M.I.A. with song types as varied as Dub, Pop, Electronic, as well as Rock. She weaves through these different types of music seamlessly and comes out with beautiful music with production from Switch and Diplo. And she did this twice this year is which is remarkable. I don't believe anyone is as thankful she decided to stop writing songs for Ashlee Simpson as I am, I'm just thrilled that she decided to plant her own flag as an artist. I will even leave you with two videos from her.





1. Deerhunter - Microcastle/Weird Era Cont'd - Unfreakinbelieveable. Awesome. What do you do when you find out that your album is leaked online a month before it gets released. If your in Deerhunter you go to the recording studio and make a companion cd that's just as kickass as the actual cd. The album brougth the 90's alternarock back to me that i had missed for so long. If you miss the old school lowfi kind of guitar rock of some bands like pavement please scoop up these albums. I guarantee you will not be disappointed. Sorry about the quality of the videos, deerhunter are too cool to post actual videos.

that time of year.

Since it's that time of year I will leave you with this classic, I hope everyone will be this excited for something.

I love local business commercials

This may be the coolest thing that I have seen in Portland since I got back to town.

Less Airport Jackassery

Well it was an impressive flight from Vegas. A couple things were creative though that that will mark it as one of the more memorable trips ever. First was how I had my espresso truffle spilling it all over me. That made me realize that it's always humiliating spilling a drink on your pants, especially when said drink stains for a while. Now I initially had thought that my stain was just isolated to my knee, unfortunately there was some on my crotch as well. This changes the level of said embarrassment significantly. I'm used to looking like a clown at most places and am typically the most under dressed person while in a crowd, though I that's hardly because I have a stains on my gear. Perhaps it was that I was raised to dress well when getting on a plane for the first part of my life but I was actually a little humiliated. I assure you that the focus of my concern wasn't the fact that with a stain on my crotch would surely inhibit my opportunities to join the mile high club but for the plain fact that I hate having any kind of stain on my crotch. It's like I just pissed all over myself and I didn't want anyone to know, but I had no way to cover it up. Best case scenario for m now is merely a squeezer and I'm not sure if that counts.

Now concerning the actual flight. After hearing nothing but nightmares coming from Portland about road/air traffic conditions and the amount of snow all over town. Mostly though I was concerned that while flying into Portland I would be routed into some other airport, that I had no interest in being at. I was also afraid that turbulence would be so terrible that my hymen would rupture. Needless to say I had overreacted and the flight was fine with the exception of how late the plane was taking off. Besides that flight was great and I give Alaskan Airlines a tip of the hat.

Airport Jackassery

I thank God everyday for free Wifi for without it I would go crazy. Todays musings include me following one of my favorite comedians Zach galifianakis (sp?, though I could check, I've decided not to waste the time to correct it each time on this post.) What an awesome comedian, if you enjoy outsider art or fringe comedians I strongly suggest that you check him out. I finally had a chance to check out the short video he did for Absolut vodka. It's been out for a while I just never remember for some reason to check it out. Needless to say it's awesome, I'm more impressed that absolut even has a link for it off their website since it's just barely a commercial and them just acting retarded.


He has also had the opportunity to work with Fiona Apple on a number of occasions including a video for her song "Not About Love" which he played his standard spaz type but worked with equal hilarity. I would post the video here but I guess Fiona and her crew don't appreciate people posting the video so I will just go ahead and link you to it. Click HERE.

Heres another little jam with the 2 of them. This one written by Zach this time. Unfortunately no video you just get the audio this time. Coming from Vegas this song is representative to many of the clowns that come to this town.



And lastly a nice little video of him from his performance at University of South Carolina. watch out though as this video is a little emotionally aggressive towards the bush administration. But it really showcases what you get from a performance from Zach.



At the rate that that my flight is getting cancelled I may also post my best albums of 2008 soon.

Vimeo

I have a new love in my life, and her name is Vimeo (it's obvious that a website like this is female since I'm no homo). Anyway, it's fantastic to see user created material that is so professional and endearing to people. It's special when a semi professional artist can make something that is as creative as some of these videos. Including this video with music from one of my favorite bands for years. Stop motion has never looked this good.


A SHORT LOVE STORY IN STOP MOTION from Carlos Lascano on Vimeo.

Now not all of the videos are as serious or artistic as that one. This video is just funny, who was aware that russians LOVED Gorbachov still.


GORBACHOV: THE MUSIC VIDEO - BIGGER AND RUSSIANER from Tom Stern on Vimeo.

Did you ever see this interview with Mike Tyson? He should have stopped boxing a long time ago and switched over to Interviewing, me might have only ended up half as crazy. He hits Nick with some tough ones thats for sure.


MIKE TYSON INTERVIEWS NICK CAGE from Tom Stern on Vimeo.

I have spent about an hour just going through these videos and they are remarkable, I love the fact that you can watch them in HD as well. Gorbachov has never looked better.

This is cool

Heres the new video for the NASA album with artwork done by Shepard Fairey.

N.A.S.A. "Money" feat. David Byrne, Chuck D, Ras Congo, Seu Jorge, & Z-Trip from Paul Griswold on Vimeo.

one for my boy Big Baby Jesus

So I've been going through Itunes and renaming everything to organize it to make it more efficient. Now I have a grip of music on this thing, music that no human being has heard or listened to in over 10 years. Now I'm not sure why I have a whole album by Dovetail Joint still, but I do. Anyway, as I'm going through this I came across probably one of the greatest hype men of all time. ODB, man was he awesome. This in turn lead me on a search of him on youtube for some of his most memorable videos, and perhaps one of the greatest moments of MTV news history. I would have imagained that even the great Kurt Loder may have even showed an element of emotion as he saw this clip.



I swear to god Kurt Loder has never changed the tone of his voice once in 30 years. I haven't seen him on tv now for years, but I'm confident MTV is just waiting for the right moment to roll his corpse out. After that I needed to see my favorite video of his. I mean Fuckin Dolemite was in the video, ODB even gets a hug from Dolemite. That's amazing!



I have only seen Dolemite beat up white people in his movies, this is a stretch for him. Well beat up white people and have sex with chicks, but not much cuddling, which is why the hug is a surprise. Also that video has a pre-milkshake/nas Kelis. All in all one of the greatest videos ever. Too bad both Dolemite and ODB are deceased I would have loved to have seen a sequel. Though for more clips of him dressing up funny there is this video though not as good as previous.



Now the Old Dirt Dog has passed on years ago. Though he still has some stuff that comes out from time to time including an album that Kanye was producing up until his death that still has no release date. But there is this cover of a Britney classic he did with Mark Ronson and Tigger. Sorry this isn't a real video (though I wish that it was, and I have ideas for it) it's the only place I could find the song.



I was at this point back in it with my man Super Bastard. I wondered where did he spend his food stamps, his welfare money, even where he spent his real money. Luckily youtube has all the answers.



That man is an inspiration. Now comes the difficult part, can I pull off wearing a t-shirt of my fallen hero. Or do I resemble Bill Gates/Opie too much to not even try.



Problem there is that I can't find any place that is actively selling it. Also the cool thing about that shirt is that on the back it has all of his nicknames:
(Big Baby Jesus, Sweet Baby Jesus (from ODB: Dirty Minded Documentary)
Dirt McGirt, Dirt Dog
Russell Jones
Osirus
Ason Unique[8], Unique Ason
Joe Bananas
Old Dirty Chinese Restaurant (from Chappelle's Show)
The Bebop Specialist[8]
The Man of All Rainbows[8]
Prince Delight[8]
The Professor[8]
Rain Man[8]
Super Bastard[8]
Peanut the Kidnapper[8]
RJ Tha Mad Specialist[8]
Freeloading Rusty[8]
Hasaan

or theres this shirt.

Any help would be appreciated.

have I found a calling?

Hands down one of the greatest ever shows on the internet. I cannot express your need to watch all of these. I am ashamed with myself that I had not thought of recording this. I remember back in the day me and one of my buddies (Covert) one have deep philosphical/political discussions while inebriated.  We realized the absurdity of this activity, but we carried on anyways and had always claimed that we should record our discussions.  One of which is a rap about beer that we claim is maybe one of the smartest things we had ever uttered but couldn't remember what it was.  Anyway here is what our discussions would have sounded like perhaps if we were being interviewed as we were inebriated.  

Rad

What is with all the new webshows that are coming out? Smoe of these actually have strong casts that I'm familiar with, and impressive looking budgets. Take a look at this one for example.



I'm am actually very excited for the countdown to the show actually comes out. Most webshows I come across have been out for a while and I just happen to stumble across them randomly. I am literally frozen in anticiapation of this.

If your not familiar with Rob Huebel he came from one of my favorite sketch shows Human giant. And since I have a deep desire to spoil all 3 of my readers here is a clip of Rob cutting off his penis with pruning sheers.

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

Karma...maybe

Today I had jury duty, this is a very bad thing. I had no interest in this mainly because I was concerned that I fit the profile of the type of person who would be selected to be on a jury. I also didn't have a plan to get out of it or a good reason why I couldn't participate in this rather important civic duty. So I did the only thing I knew to do when I don't want to do something...just hope I don't get picked. As I defeatedly make my approach toward the courthouse a gentleman who appears down on their luck approaches me. He asks me if I have any money that I can spare, so I graciously give him 2 bucks. He asks what I'm doing by the courthouse today as I'm getting money out of my wallet, I respond that I'm there for jury selection at noon. He then tells me that he has to be there at 1 for a court appearance. Instantly, I am hoping that I can get out of serving today because I will be asked to serve in his trial. This is all I thought for 3 hours. Luckily though, the case I guess I would have been in ended in a plea bargain before it went to trial. I am just going to credit this to karma and figure that if I hadn't given the money to that guy I would be sitting in a courtroom the next couple of days. And that people is why you give money to bums.