Sunday, November 30, 2008

Lawyer's please respond

I have jury duty tomorrow and am just wondering what the definition of a hate crime is in Nevada. I just need to do the best I can to come close to that without crossing that. Any assistance would be helpful with this.


Allright it's been a big day. I sat at a sports book all day, I haven't done this in a while. Really I don't think there is anyplace as masculine (nqq) as a sports book. This is mostly because of the fact that it's a room of nothing but dudes and cigarette smoke. The only females there are cocktail servers. Now This was by no means a classy sports book, this place attracted the bottom level of society. Needless to say, it was awesome. There was one gentleman there who referred to the cocktail server as "mama", this guy was at least 60 and looked like he was born with a cider jug in his hand, the girl maybe 28. There was also the standard table of 5 guys that make offhand comments about what they would like to do to said cocktail server as well. While I was there losing two out of the three tickets I realized there was no better place to people watch in this whole town. Sports books have their own type of energy there, it's baffling how quickly you can gain friends, well if your a friendly person, otherwise, you can just as easily get into a brawl. Now I'm just waiting for the Bears to cover 9 points and make sure the game stays under 46 points.

Also Jim suggested that I check out this video, it's inspiring to say the least. Now banter.

Saturday, November 29, 2008

New band alert

Yeah, this band just blew my mind all over my face. If your a big fan of bands like Sonic Youth or Pavement this band is the next coming of early nineties alternative. I can't stop listening to both of their albums (they released 2 albums at the same time). Personally, I like "Weird Era Cont'd" more but "Microcastle" is a little tamer. Just when you thought alternative music had died and was over with it just keeps making a comeback. Thankfully I can still get all the guitars I need from this band and another band Yeasayer which have dominated my Ipod. It seems about a year ago I think I listened to mostly hip hop, now I hardly listen to Hip Hop it seems, alternative has made the great comeback, we still have yet to see if the Kanye album grows on me. Heres a song for the meantime.

Friday, November 28, 2008


If your a big fan of Micheal Cera you need to check out his webshow. It's definitely one of the best shows online now, great one-liners. Follow the link here and you can watch all 10 episodes in about an hour and a half.

Thursday, November 27, 2008


Allright just a big Happy Thanksgiving to all the Jackasses out there.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

This is Terrible news

Ok, a few days ago I posted about NASA album. I have been emtionally captured by the album. That's a lie. Honestly I need it like a fat kid needs cake. There thats an honest depiction of how enamored I am with the album. The object that gets the most of my attention on that album (so I thought) would be the Song by RZA and Nina Persson (the girl from the cardigans) "Electric Flowers". Now as I actually pay attention to the tracklist that song happens to not be on it. I am actually distraught and disappointed. I am just praying that it shows up somewhere as a B-side, or as a secret track (which would be even better). Just watch the video and fast forward to 5:18 to hear the song that has captured my heart.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

dancing with the stars season 7

brooke fuckin brooke are you kinding me!
lance and lacey should have won they did the best free style dancing to hip hop and all the fuckin old judges couldnt understand the concept. i think they like brooke because she was the only lady on the show. lance and lacey were the 2 best dancers on the show and lacey is the hottest chick on the show! i chose lacey and lance to win the whole thing back on the first show and they came close. i chose lance because lacey is so hot. anyway lance and lacey are the best and they should have won and by them making the top 3 i still have my steak of 5 reality show were i chose 1 of the top 3 and 1 show girlicious that i chose all 4 girls from the first episode.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

This could be awesome

At Adultswim they are accepting viewer auditions for the role of Carl in the live action episode of Aqua Teen Hunger Force. If I was any fatter and bald I would be thrilled with the opportunity to portray my idol onscreen. In the meantime I guess that I'm stuck just being me. Here is the website you can go and see Carl explain it himself as well as the auditions.

Go watch slumdog millionaire for FREE!

I cannot wait for the opportunity to see this movie. The concept of someone from a ghetto who was destined to know answers to questions on a game show just seems amazing. Plus, I know that I can count on Danny Boyle to make this movie visually pleasing, so I'm excited to see what he can do in such an exotic location as India. You can go here (the link is on the left hand side of the page underneath showtimes) and sign up for a free viewing of the movie since it will be a while before it gets out of LA, or if your like me where most art movies never come to your town.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Die you robot bastard!

If you have time to kill, and your a nerd and have a love of cheap user made movies check this out. This is a video from one of the creators of channel101. It's actually not a bad video considering that it consisted exclusively of cardboard, I should actually say that it was all cardboard plus 18 thousand dollars. He has since moved onto working on the Sarah Silverman Show and his own other jackassery. All in all a great time kill. The good news about Robot Bastard is that he didn't just have one episode, after his head was reattached I think he made appearances in music videos, like this one. However, I cannot confirm this.

Friday, November 21, 2008

americas next top model cycle 11 what the fuck!!

what the fuck Mckay wins she is not the hottest did not take the best pictures and just posses like shes smegul from lord of the rings what the fuck was tyra thinking. i chose Analeigh as 1 of my 2 at the begining of the season and she made it to the top 3 the other one i chose Elina came in 4th or 5th i just cant believe that tyra would make another bad call and chose the wrong winner Analeigh by far should have won she has that look that turns heads and makes everyone wonder who she is not to mention that she also has the girl next door look and she is a better looking version of Michelle Trachtenberg. this is why this show sucks and you never see any of the winners doing anything big. because tyra always fucks up and chooses the wrong person.

mckay winner americas next top model cycle 11


my choice and the women that should have won americas next top model

Lauren Conrad the biggest slut on the hills???

Lauren Conrad the biggest slut on the hills????

FUCK YES!!!!!!!!!
Let’s go back to the Laguna Beach days. When lc was in love with Stephen but Stephen was in love with Kristen. I love me a love triangle. There was like two episodes that they had lc and Stephen giving each other the “fuck me” eyes and in both those two episodes they left together and went back to lc’s place and the show ended. On the season 2 or 3 finale Stephen went to the bay area to go to school and Lauren was moving to go to fashion school. He drove and she got on a plane but who picked up lc at the airport. Yes Stephen. I didn’t mention that this whole time Stephen was going out with Kristen. The whole time Kristen was his girlfriend. Nothing says slut like fucking another girl’s man. As the show moves on and it becomes the hills Lauren takes home countless guys and they just end with the door closing. Why don’t we ever get to see more this was all before the show became fake like it is now it had the disclaimer before saying that it was real not like now they don’t show that disclaimer anymore. I believe that she is the biggest slut on the show but they make her out to be the angel on the show. Every show has a bad guy Laguna Beach it was Kristen because she didn’t like lc. On the the hills it’s Spencer. They can’t have more then one bad guy. Besides lc narrates the show and the producers can’t make her mad because she would walk. It’s unreal that they can show everything about everyone else but lc. I think that she has kissed about 10 to 20 guys just on the shows not even what she does when the mtv people aren’t there. So to end this shit Lauren Conrad is the biggest slut on the hills more then anyone else on the show and I could make a good argument that she is the biggest slut on TV right now if you follow the show from Laguna beach to the hills there’s no way that you cant agree with me because its all there for everyone to see and tell me that you don’t think that LAUREN CONRAD IS THE BIGGEST SLUT ON THE HILLS

Pussy and Prune Juice

Wow, this album sounds awesome. Great Concept. I am more enthusiastic about this album than anyother. The People involved in this make it seem like that it can't disappoint. I just can't believe that I just stumbled upon it. I love the fact that David Bryne is doing a song with Gift of Gab, I just can't believe my boy Ryan who works for Z-trip (The DJ on 2 of the tracks, and makes a cameo in the video) hadn't spilled the beans to me about this. Also on the full track listing I see that my Sri Lankan princess makes a cameo as well.

Heres a full track listing for this album called the Spirit of Apollo
01 Intro
02 The People Tree [ft. David Byrne, Chali 2na, Gift of Gab & Z-Trip]
03 Money [ft. David Byrne, Chuck D, Ras Congo, Seu Jorge & Z-Trip]
04 NASA Music [ft. Method Man, E-40 & DJ Swamp]
05 Way Down [ft. RZA, Barbie Hatch & John Frusciante]
06 Hip Hop [ft. KRS-One, Fatlip & Slim Kid Tre]
07 Four Rooms, Earth View
08 Strange Enough [ft. Karen O, Ol' Dirty Bastard & Fatlip]
09 Spacious Thoughts [ft. Tom Waits & Kool Keith]
10 Gifted [ft. Kanye West, Santogold & Lykke Li]
11 A Volta [ft. Sizzla, Amanda Blank & Lovefoxxx]
12 There's a Party [ft. George Clinton & Chali 2na]
13 Whachadoin? [ft. Spank Rock, M.I.A., Santogold & Nick Zinner]
14 O Pato [ft. Kool Kojak & DJ B√£boa]
15 Samba Soul [ft. Del Tha Funkee Homosapien & DJ Qbert]
16 The Mayor [ft. The Cool Kids, Ghostface Killah, DJ AM & Scarface]
17 N.A.S.A. Anthem

I really can't elaborate more on this, I'm too excited right now. I just hope this is more Handsome Boy Modeling School and less Peeping Tom. Well the album come out February 17th so mark your calendars. Here are some links one here is to a mix of sample of their songs as well as another link here to a Song by Kool Keith and Tom Waits.

PS. Does anybody else think that Squeak E Clean kinda looks like Sean Penn. I'm just throwing that out there, if you don't buy it just throw it right back.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

wow the 70s seem kickass

These clips make my hate television of the 80s. As I write this I can't think of a real culturally important show in the 80's except for maybe the Cosby show, Cheers, and Night Court. Besides those three shows I can barely name another show during that decade and Night Court was the only one of those three I even liked. The crappy television must have been my inspiration for the sheer amount of reading that I did when I was young. I used to be a smart motherfucker, now I can just hold my own pretty well (though I still worry I may be illiterate). I never read now but I have 10 times the channels and actual television programming is far better. Let me say if Battle of the network stars or anything else that was as entertainging at that was on when I was a child theres a chance I could be totally retarded now.

Now maybe it isnt just the Battle of the Network Stars the show that was awesome, It would also be the actors in the show and how they carried themselves. Telly Savalas is wearing a track suit and smoking at the same time, Robert Conrad is a damn racist, really there is no way a show like this could ever be put on tv now. Impossible, television studios would never let their bread and butter talent commit public suicide like that. I mean Gabe Kaplan got bullied into a competition by a complete asshole. Today if Robert Conrad would have said what he said 20 years later he would have been replaced on his show in a cocaine heartbeat. It would have been like Becky was replaced on Roseanne, people would just turn on Baa Baa Black Sheep and it would have been Kirk Douglas.

All in All Tv in the 80's must have sucked. I pray that one day a show like this can come back one day, with maybe one of the characters from Lost being the Team captain of ABC and Steve Carell leading team NBC. Now I don't watch anything on CBS or watch shows on FOX that casts human beings so I'm open for suggestions on them. If theres a petition out there to get Battle back on tv please let me know. I have now spent too much time fictionally trying to put teams together for each network. Yikes.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Board certified phyician and addiction medicine specialist

There is a discussion I often have with my cohorts, that Loveline is without a doubt the greatest radio show of all time. They aregue that it may be some other show that is rather completely unimportant and not part of my own childhood. This makes their opinion wrong. Now in regards to loveline I am only referencing the years that adam carrolla was on. They are aware of the show but mostly in the sense that there was a television show called loveline and their were people that called in and discussed their problems. The Tv show was very restrictive and very censored. Many of the shows standards were eliminated. Particularly Adams rants, as well as the nature of the calls were not as exciting as the calls they would take on the radio show.

The radio show that taught me the most about all the nothing I know, if that makes any sense. Be it about drugs, beastiality, or anyother outside the norm addiction. I am pretty boring in regards to the topics they discussed it. It is hands down the most entertaining show about people I have ever heard. When I was a younger Outlaw I was always prepared for bedtime because it was at 10pm, the start of loveline sunday through thursday. It would be on the air till midnight, though I would be asleep much earlier. I have been stricken again with loveline mania (if interested in a stream of the show you can go HERE). More than 10 years after I had started listening to it from my room as I went to sleep it has grabbed a hold of me again.

As I listen to this show Drew and Adam had the kind of on air chemisrty that I don't even think Johnny Carson and Ed Mcmahon ever quite achieve. Hilarious and thought provoking, the show seemed to constantly make heavy issues lighter than they may necessarily seem, basically giving everyone the sense that everyone had problems and that it was no big deal and everything could be repaired. Mostly the repair was lots of counseling and never having any children was the most common suggestion to a caller. However, that was said with love.

The radio show is still on though Adam has moved on. He now comes on the radio in the mornings now, which incidentally is convenient for me since I can now listen to him in the morning from 6 till 10. Yikes, I am starting to come off as a crazed stalker. Perhaps this is a good time to end this post.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Dinner last night

So last night I went to Nora's Wine Bar. Amazing. Very good food, great atmosphere, good wine. I mean anyplace that is as casual as that and offers such a good experience is obviously in my top ten places to go to. I have a hard enough time putting on anything more than a t-shirt and sandals (a polo shirt is as fancy I get) that made this place wonderful. The salad was delicious as well as a ridiculous shrimp pizza. By the time the waiter was asking if we wanted dessert I couldn't handle any more. Next time I go I think I may just be gross and belly up at the bar.
Where they have this contraption a device that pours three different sized servings to the individual. The concept is that the guest can buy a prepaid type credit card, then select the wine of their choice and the size of the serving they want to try. Definitely a place to go if your not that savvy when it comes to wine.

Monday, November 17, 2008

going for a record of most posts in one day

This is a somber little video made for the best song on the new Eagles of Death Metal Album.  Enjoy.


Did you know you can look illiterate in your own blog. I'm impressed with how terrible my writing has become, hopefully constant blogging will help.

before people forget

Before that new Ti/Rihanna song gets too played out lets not forget about this gentleman.

Welcome to Modern Jackassery

This is a blog that will mostly go unnoticed and be very uninfluential.  Because of these facts be prepared if you are sensitive, I will hardly be censoring myself at all and will probably offend some.  Anyway I hope to post daily, as I have much free time (I work one day a week at my main job), on any topic that interests me.  Enjoy the blog and please comment.